Tuesday, December 29, 2009

doesn't even matter

in context, you were my everything. but as time passes, and as I think of the future and my whole life pans out infront of me, more and more things are unimportant. I'm set. no more distractions.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

ugly duckling

she knows what she's doing. and that's what scares me.

She's got green eyes
And she's 5'5,
Long brown hair all down her back.
Cadillac truck.
So the hell what?
What's so special about that?
She used to model,
She's done some acting.
So she weighs a buck, o'five.
And I guess that she's alright
If perfection's what you like.

livin' on dreams and spaghettios

I can't tell whether it's falling apart or coming together. either way, it's really messy. and I'm far too broken to even mind.

Friday, December 25, 2009

december twenty fifth


to all and to all a goodnight.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


I was anticipating it since summer, but with two days to go, I don't feel a thing. it's probably because I'm so numb from some negative 23092834029348230948234 degrees outside.

I should really do something productive. instead, I've been sitting at home, watching my favourite tv series from my laptop in the privacy of my very own room. I did a bit of homework today. EXCITING.

After receiving some news that should have devastated me, I'm not devastated. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. eh, I'll figure it out... right after I'm done doing my homework.

Friday, December 18, 2009

the doppler effect

wicked nerd show. I love it.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

500 days of summer

it was a cute movie. the ending was alright. now I'm left here, and the more I think about it, the more I don't believe in love.

I'm the last person you want to be talking to right now. I'll just rant for a tad:

I actually hate when people try to be "that one person that I can confide in", because for fucks sake, it's up to me if I want to talk to you about something, and the chances of me doing so are slim to none. I choose my friends and if you're not one of them, it's with good reason.

I actually hate when people complain to me about all the work that they have to do at school. Seriously, I have the same amount of work as you, so shut the fuck up. No, I don't feel sorry for you if there are things going on in your life that prevent you from doing your work. Just because I do my work, doesn't mean that I don't have my own life. I'm just better at prioritizing than you.

I actually hate when people ask to see what I'm doing or ask me for ideas. Think of your own for fucks sake. if I help you now, you'll never make it in the "real world".

I actually hate when people are superficial and get "everything" they want, thinking it'll satisfy them. it won't. good God, it won't.

planet earth

If common sense were actually that common, the world would be a better place. Because isn't it common sense that we shall not intentionally hurt another? Isn't it common sense that we shall not harm our own bodies with things such as alcohol and other various drugs? Isn't it common sense that just as seasons change, maybe people can't; therefore, isn't it common sense that she or he does not deserve a second chance? Isn't it common sense that you're with the wrong girl? Isn't it common sense that she could do better? Isn't it common sense that nobody should be subjected to living in poverty, on the corner of here and there. Isn't it common sense that humiliation is self imposed? Isn't it common sense that good things come to those who wait because patience makes things seem to come to us more quickly? Isn't it common sense that we all want what we can't have because we don't feel want for something that we do have, seeing as we already have it? Isn't it common sense that our other sock is in the last place that we'd look because honestly, who is going to keep looking for something in a different place after they've found it?

Isn't it common sense that if we recognized common sense, the world would be a better place? But according to my common sense, if everyone had common sense, everyone would be common. But maybe I like the world the way it is.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

the hills

sometimes when you walk away, there's a little part of you that wishes that he'd come running after you.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

remember me

I've been having dreams lately. It's nice. Normally, I just shut my eyes and get put into a sheet of blackness for a long time, then I wake up. Now there are actual scenarios in my head. It's like going to the movies, but better, and ten million times more creative.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

and i stand so tall


Julia is visiting from Chicago

from Friday to Monday.

Also, it is going to


on Monday.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

wtf, srsly

I still feel distant from everyone I know. I don't even have a "first call". Do you know how bad it feels to have amazing news, or terrible news, and have nobody to tell? It's as if I don't even need to exist anymore. The world still turns without me.

Winter depression is hitting hard.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

a medley

I've silenced the nights, now I'm coming to frost the snowman on this blue, blue, blue Christmas. And little children will see mommy kissing jolly old Saint Nicholas, as the silver jingle bells on o' Christmas tree chime along to the little drummer boy's tune. And Suzy Snowflake will follow you through the decked halls as Jack Frost nips at your nose. And it'll be a white Christmas in this winter wonderland for the three wise men as they wish you a merry Christmas on the most wonderful day of the year. And twelve days later, we'll still remember the night before Christmas.

See if you can count all the Christmas songs in that. ;)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

please stop turning

If everyone could just stop living even if for a while,
if the world could just stop turning even if for a while,
if time could just freeze even if for a little while,
maybe I could just catch up to everything around me,
maybe I could just breathe,
maybe I could just see the past, without changing it.
Maybe even if for a while, I could
pretend that I was included,
pretend that I have included others in my own life,
pretend that I made a few right decisions thus far,
pretend that I haven't made the wrong decisions,
pretend that I haven't left anyone behind,
pretend that I wasn't left behind by anyone,
pretend that I like myself,
pretend that I like everyone else.

The world is turning at 108000 km per hour.
I just need to chill.

100th post

sometimes I let my head get the best of me. really. I don't need you. now I need to convince myself that I'm right.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

how bout that


november 12 - 17 ♥

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

it's just chemistry .. literally

I was being me today, and instead of studying for my science test, I decided to look up the scientific definition of love.

Apparently, love is a mammalian drive, just the same as eating and drinking are.

Causes of Attraction:
· pheromones
· dopamine
· norepinephrine
· serotonin
· nerve growth factor
These cause us to lose appetite and sleep, and increases our heart rates.

Causes of Attachment:
· oxytocin
· vasopressin
These cause us to become attached to someone/something.

Causes of Lust:
· estrogen
· testosterone
These cause us to want to bang people.

Well yeah, just wanted to share before I fail science and history all in one go.


Sunday, November 08, 2009

a heartache tonight

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Michael Bublé:
A fire truck. For sure. I've said this before. You can't stop a fire truck.

He can sing. He can write. He's creative. Catch me, I've fallen. ♥

Saturday, November 07, 2009

tell me

Boys who sing make my heart skip a beat. ♥
Someone find me a boy with a voice like this.

Friday, November 06, 2009


"The only limits are the ones we place on ourselves."
Milk commercials are actually pretty amazing.

santa baby

It actually snowed yesterday. ♥


It's like I can't let go of letting go. Then I realize that I don't need you and I'm okay.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

when you're fifteen

There are just some days when I wish I could shoot myself several times in the face, and die a slow and painful death on cold concrete for being SO STUPID.

"In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, but I didn't know it at fifteen."

Hey, TaySwift. I know Kanye called you out on your video win against Beyonce, but you're much more relatable.

if train a leaves the station @ 1:27 going 96 mph and train b leaves the station @ 5:38 going 281 mph, when will you start thinking outside this box?

I try to be a friend.
I try to be an inspiration when it comes to my work.
I try to be the perfect student.
I try to be the one to set the bar.

But in my thoughts, I'm the one who calls the shots. I don't even need to try because there's nobody to disappoint but myself. And I know I'll never let that happen.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

ell em eff ay oh

Things are only 'great' if you make them out to be that way.

only you

You're the cutest thing I've seen in a while.
If you make me laugh, I'll make you smile.
You're running through my mind like crazy.
Now that I know you, everything's so hazy.


Saturday, October 31, 2009


You know what? You're a bitch and I don't like you. I'm saying this, and I don't even know you. I hope you feel special because I never say that.

life is a bitch, then you die

There are things that only I will ever know in my lifetime. And as special as that makes me feel, it kills to know that there's nobody I trust enough to tell.

happy birthday e.n.

DRUNK PEOPLE: unbearable.

SOBER PEOPLE: tolerable.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

you don't wanna miss out

You're lookin' like you're boss
Breathing in that car exhaust
Rolled up in that stick between your lips
Rockin' that vodka like you rock your hips.

Truth of the matter is,
You've never looked stupider, kid.

Friday, October 23, 2009

k stfu

I understand that people are entitled to their own opinions, but keep them to yourself if you're just going to put something, that someone else DOES like, down. Honestly. Have a little more class than that. It's not like anyone's putting anything that I value down, but I'm seeing it more and more. Don't get me wrong, but if it's bugging me how someone is being treated, it's obviously bugging the person even more.

Saying you don't like something that someone else does doesn't make you any more superior - you're actually quite pessimistic. Saying someone is a bitch only makes you one - people who have to listen to you speak will agree. Saying someone is ugly doesn't make you any prettier - it's actually uber unattractive of you. Just putting that out there for all you Pariah Carey's.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

avery page

best. sex. ever.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

estos ninos justo no maduran

If you think I'm a bitch, don't make it your facebook status as if I'm too stupid to realize it's about me. Then you have the dignity to tell me to say something to YOUR face, when I'm not talking to you? How about you mind your own business, and stop eavesdropping when I'm talking to someone else? Plus, if you don't like me, don't hang around me, because I sure as hell don't want you there. Oh, and one more thing: YOU'RE FAT.

I'm tired of this hiding-behind-technology bullshit. If you want to say something to me anonymously, put a paper bag over your head and call me a bitch. I promise I won't hit that hard.

Monday, October 19, 2009

no delicate string of pearls

Does it kill you when she cries?
Does she notice the look in your eyes
that you get when you're sad?
Or make you laugh when you're mad?
Because at night, when you lay next to her,
I'd hope that you'll still remember
the times that we had,
and they'll make you glad.
And does she secretly cry
when you say goodbye?
Because I did.
And heaven forbid
that she doesn't mean it when she says "I love you"
because I still do.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

hey .. hey baby, HOO-HA

Best day ever (Friday, October 16, 2009).

1. Amy Foster is an alumni at my school. She writes basically all of Michael Buble's songs with him, seeing as they've been best friends FOREVER. So she comes to school, and since I made it into the intense audition for the jazz choir, I came to meet her. She calls up Michael Buble, who was currently dancing with Germans in Germany, ftmfw. Amy explains that she's with Branksome's jazz choir, helping us work on the song "Home", which she wrote. SO HE ASKS TO HEAR IT. Without warm-up, or any preparation, we all start singing. I love that man with a passion. Someone please find me a guy who can sing, and I will marry him.

2. DANCE AT MY SCHOOL LAST NIGHT. Getting ready to "Haven't Met You Yet" (because we just HAD TO listen to Michael), rocking out in the car to Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me", dancing to "Hey Baby" & "Thriller", and closing off the school dance with "One Time".

Definitely, without a question: the best day of my life, by far.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

for my benefit, or yours?

My school has a wiki page... and a twitter. I'm not exactly surprised.

I'm thinking about starting a chemistry club at my school: super cool, right? SUPER.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

this shit storm's never ending

and the atmospheric pressure's calling for rain.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

you have to get used to it

I don't care if you don't like me, or what I do, or how I act or talk. I'd request the same from you, but I know that it's a bit much to ask. I often see that people make a big fuss about not liking something or someone. If you state something, state it with a purpose. Each second of your life passes, and you can't get it back. Don't waste even one with a negative thought.

"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss was one kick-ass profound storyteller.

the future is ours

Yesterday, I attended a university information night for the Ivy League schools, Harvard (my dream school since I was like, ten), Dartmouth, Princeton, Columbia, Brown, and Stanford + University of Pennsylvania. The Yale meeting was held on the 26th, which I attended as well. If I want to make it from IB league to Ivy League, I gotta kick it up a few notches.

It got me thinking. I was discussing this with a friend yesterday night, on the way back from the meeting. Most people don't choose the career that they'd like to. Most people take a realistic path, like medicine or law. If money were no object, I'd go into visual arts.

To whoever out there reads this, tell me. What would you do if money were no object? If a penny could put food on the table, and put your kids in school, what career would you choose? Comment in the c-box. (... That was my lame attempt of picking up the mood in this joint.)

It pains me to think about it. We grow up with people telling us to follow our dreams, but most of our dreams aren't achievable.

So I don't know what to do. There are so many options, and I don't know which career field to go into. Each university has so much to offer for each one. Which university to choose, which one? Hmm...

Monday, September 28, 2009

bundle of contradictions

I get bored of being happy sometimes. I say that laughing makes people naive because they don't see the reality of the world. Lately, I've been able to find beauty in random things, like a random little kid on the bus trying to learn the days of the week, or graffiti on the side of a building in a shady neighbourhood. But it only makes me sadder that other people can't see the world like that. I've seen the lowest lows, where people, who have everything that money can buy, aren't happy; then I've seen the highest highs, where people, with nothing, have everything they need. As I gain a deeper understanding of things, humanity disappoints me more and more each day.

People are the way they are because of their pasts. The more I get to know about someone's past, it makes me want to cry, thinking about that that's why they are the way they are. It reminds me of a good friend of mine who was listening to a speech about this in school last year. He told me that he immediately thought of me, and how he wondered what I'd gone through to be who I am today. Ever since, I've wondered as well. It's caused me to look into my past, as well as the pasts of those who have influenced my life. I almost regret knowing, but I'm glad that I'd wondered in the first place. I guess it's just easier to see what you see, and not question it.

I think I'm clinically depressed, as well as having OCD. I should probably get tested sometime in the near future.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

don't know what to write

My mom and I were downtown the other day, and we stumbled upon a little bag boutique with the cutest purses and such from designers from all over. The girl (well .. woman) at the counter asked me what school I went to. Apparently she went to BSS, as she so quaintly put it: my "frienemy" school.
· · ·

Sounds like a plan to me. Fingers crossed for my extended math grade.
· · ·

I didn't really take pictures of my room until now. It was done in the first week of September though. All that's missing is my little armchair.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

all's well

Someone once told me that procrastination is like masturbation. At first, it feels good—but in the end, you just fucked yourself.

So far so great. I had most of my homework done on Friday, because I knew that I was going out on Saturday; then today was a synch. Even though I forgot my homework at school, the teachers are becoming avid users of blackboard so I was able to find and finish it hastily.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

the land of wonder

Went to wonderland today with Jeleel, Roma, and Kaitlin for some closed off special event. It totally made up for not going to wonderland for the entire summer. Behemoth was better than ever. Now I have a major headache. I'm probably going to wake up with a fever tomorrow because of strep throat.

· · ·

I brought my homework to school and left it there. Fuck that shit - my year is already off to a bad start.

· · ·

I was in such an 'I'm up for anything' mood today, I had ketchup for the first time. It wasn't as bad as I thought... and I'm not dead. So it seems to be going well. That's probably the last time I ever will though.

Friday, September 11, 2009


You say he makes your heart go pitter-patter. Sorry to tell you, but that's your heart beating. It does that sometimes.

· · ·

I think my strep throat came back. Great.

· · ·

There was a hell of a lot of homework for the first day. My english teacher is actually not the nutty professor. I was actually thinking of the wrong lady. Nevertheless, I'm still not looking forward to English this year.

In science, we're starting off with biology, my weakest point in science. I still hate my teacher.

In careers, they're asking us to consider universities. I don't even know what I want to specialize in. Two years to graduating year. Two short years.

My school really likes to go all out. My mom volunteered herself for the welcome back barbeque this year, so I had to join her. Popcorn machine, snow cone machine, stage with a DJ, hired cooks to barbeque and everything. It was a good carnival, but I personally prefer the dunk tank, cotton candy machine, pie-the-prefects, and all that other crazy stuff during the end-of-the-year carnival.

· · ·

According to my computer's spell check, 'whatchamacallit' is a word.

· · ·

I'm hungry. I hear eatting helps. I'll go do that.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

back in a kilt, back to blogs

Since I have no time to talk to real people during school, it's much easier to write in a blog, so I'll probably be writing here when I get the chance.

· · ·

I was actually chills about going back to school. It's the first time that I've been at a school for longer than three years, so that's probably why I felt so... not anxious. Today was my first day; pretty cool how my school always starts a day after my friends' schools. Well, I was welcomed back to school with an assembly; an advisor meeting, in which I met my two new advisors (as if one isn't enough); and a grade meeting, in which I met everyone else's advisors.

I was also welcomed back by one Happy... yeah. One Happy. And her name says it all. I appreciate her following my blog and suggesting that her friends do the same. I hadn't realized anyone actually read this thing.

On another note, I have some of the most not-so-amazing teachers. Firstly, a teacher, initialed JH, who will remain "unnamed", was the reason that I failed math, and switched into core math to ensure that I didn't have to sit through another class. There's no doubt in my mind that he is a kind human being, but I can not learn in his class. And guess what? Regardless of my switch back into core math, to my luck, he is now my sophomore year science teacher. Yeah, that's right. Goodbye honour roll. It's so inconvenient that he's a teacher in the classes that I'm actually good at. But the best of us can find happiness in misery, right? So this year, I've decided that I'm going to show him up, and prove to him that I don't get straight 60's in all my classes.

On anothhhhherrrr note, my english teacher apparently started teaching because she likes yelling at students. And surprisingly, I'm okay with that. I actually get along with teachers that are a bit "out there".

I am extremely looking forward to art this year, seeing as I get to do photography (huge, huge, huge, huge, huge score). I also have my grade seven/eight teacher, who is probably one of thee most understanding teachers I've ever had in my life.

Whilst adjusting to my new haircut, as well as new courses, new teachers, and getting back into my kilt and classic number-one-dress blazer, I have discovered that label makers are probably the most convenient, most fun, most amazing contraptions known to man. God bless technology.

As for summer, goodbye to you. Although you'll be missed, you ended for a reason. Thanks to everyone who made my summer so amazing. Summer is a time that I get to hang out with people whom I don't get to see, let alone talk to, during the school year. Along with the company comes the drama; and to be truthful I'd much rather be doing homework than dealing with other people's problems. So goodbye summer, and goodbye drama. Good riddance for that. Hello sophomore year

Saturday, August 22, 2009

deafening silence

the bad kind of awkward

I've inspired a few, and that's the greatest achievement I could never ask for.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

act a little more immature, would you

& I'm totally like, "Yeah, I kinda wish I was you, but ten years from now, I'll be glad that I was such a book junky at fifteen."

Friday, July 31, 2009

i still have my moments

I can make or break you. No big deal.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

justin bieber contest winner fo sho


ilikegrass productions

love you guys

Monday, July 27, 2009

first update in a while

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

walk in the park

volunteering's going pretty well too.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

summer's a bummer

It's good to know that my personal life hasn't affected my wit or knowledge. I need to go somewhere FAR away, alone.

Oh, how I miss winter.

Monday, July 13, 2009

stud muffin

There are so many people out there saying, "Whatever happened to the girls/guys who don't act, or dress, or talk like everyone else." Probably because they haven't found each other yet.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

they pretty coo


You're cute... holy fuck, you're cute.
You're cute still, I guess.
You're still cute, but Idk.

wow, don't you feel stupid

k so, my parents are actually pretty great.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

perfect, it's like you never existed

Parents are insanely unneccessary. If humans were more intouch with our mother-nature side, we'd be abandoned at birth, like turtles and frogs. Doesn't sound that bad.

· · ·

Mother, I'm sorry that I didn't get you a birthday present. I'm sorry that I got one for my friend, not for you—even though your birthday is two days before hers. I'm sorry that whenever I buy you a gift, or write you a card, you stuff them in your closet, or down in the basement, never to use or see them again. I'm sorry that your life seems so terrible. I'm sorry that you make bad decisions. I'm sorry that your daughter is clearly smarter than you, that your son is probably retarded, your husband is basically useless, and your close family is halfway around the world. I truly feel sorry. Sorry for you.

· · ·

Surprise party for Jeleel today was refreshing. It's about time I met new people, and caught up with old ones. I should've stayed longer, but instead, I came home to this. Note to self: give her her present, and her socks back.

PS: You're cute. You really are... hahaha.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

ready or not

Laura Bertram & Lani Billard
best show known to man.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

all of the shadowy corners of me

Some people know it in music, some in a person, some in other places. I know it in photography. That feeling that makes you truly appreciate the beauty in life so much that it almost hurts.

Monday, July 06, 2009

depends on how you look at it

The most devistating thing happened to me:
I had a dream that I was dating Edward Cullen. It was absolutely amazing, yet awkward, seeing as I just had a dream about a fictional character made up by somebody named Stephanie Meyer. He was so perfect, it was upsetting. Being in his lap. Swimming while he carried me. Being able to jump on his back without him running out of strength. If only relationships like that existed in reality. I like to think that reality is much more interesting than fiction; this is one circumstance where I'd have to say that fantasy is the only thing that can truly satisfy us.

something about you that's so addictive

We want things that we can't have, so how do why do we even bother?

Sunday, July 05, 2009

hold me like you mean it

If you ever left me, I would let you go. No questions asked. If I don't make you happy, there's no reason to make you stay. If you're in my life, there's a reason—and I'm greatful.

so nonchalant

Try watching two movies at once.
It's harder than you think.

i live to inspire

Don't jump on the bandwagon. Steer it.
Don't say it. Mean it.
Don't wait for it. Get it.

There's nothing I hate more than when people are less than orginal, less than themselves.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

you're like chocolate, only sweeter

1: hm, I've been in a situation like this before. I'd prefer you held onto your girlfriend.
2: I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have told you what she said... because I lied when I said I didn't like you.
3: mm, I don't even know about you. I didn't think it'd happen, but it did. Can't forget your eyes either.

· · ·

Photoshoot by a ravine today:
Dead bodies being dumped over a bridge,
losing a hat while doing a freeze pose,
about 15 pieces of gum being consumed in a few seconds,
a male rocking a purse,
lighting things on fire,
'waiting for a bus' in the middle of nowhere,
partially nude pictures,
calling out to random guys whom you've never met,
crossing a black cat's path,
& you see that sign over there? yeah, that's not it.

That's just to say the least.
Was it worth being grounded over? I suppose.

you're a joke, bloke

Jealousy originates from greed. I'm thinking clearly and carefully, and I've discovered that both of our actions were performed out of jealousy.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

tick tack tock, gotta sock it to 'em

I do too many favours. I have to learn how to say no.

· · ·

My style is not your style. My interests are not your interests. My talents are not your talents. If I am good at something, it doesn't mean that you can even compare. Stop taking everything from me. You'll never be me. You can be anyone in the world, and you didn't choose yourself. Please tell me you see something wrong with that as well. I'm flattered, really; but honestly, get your own life.

it sounds so selfish

I hate liars. I hate you. I was conscious of your little lies, but I hadn't realized it was compulsive. Honestly, don't talk to me. LMFAO. Don't even consider 'getting at me'. It's guys like you that help me remember why I hate people so much.

· · ·

It wouldn't be too difficult to realize that the reason that I'm not in a relationship, and that I'm single, is because there's nobody worth my time and effort. Atleast not yet.

megan & meaghan ftw

Monday, June 29, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

pardon the way that i stare

Nobody's that great. It's about making people believe that you are. Just saying.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

ding dong, michael jackson is dead

That's one less pedophile to worry about in the world.

I have to admit, he had some pretty good songs and he was quite an inspiration to millions of people and artists. But honestly, would you trust him with your baby? Just because I wouldn't, doesn't make me a bad person. I'm just being optimistic here.

it's oh so quiet .. zing boom

boys are confusing.

but I'll deal.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

sorry, i didn't see you there

Don't act or talk like everyone else just to fit in. CHECK
After receiving a telephone number, wait 3 days until calling/texting it. CHECK
Be there for her. CHECK

Wow, you're doing pretty good, buddy.
...and I didn't even expect it from you.

Monday, June 22, 2009

no big deal or anything

I had a fun day today with Lareina & her boyfriend, Donovan. Here's what I learned today.

personal pet peeves:
· people having sex [relatively close to me] while I am sleeping
· playing rockband, seeing as I am extremely uncoordinated
· insanely hot summer weather
· someone ignoring me, or so it seemed
· people moving schools right after I get to know them (you know who you are)

upcoming events:
· shopping on Bloor with Natalie tomorrow
· NOT attending the 'woodbine beach jam'
· hosting a summer party?

dream maker, you heart breaker

Dear huckleberry friends, I just watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for the first time. It's an interesting movie. I have a new appreciation for Audrey Hepburn. Holly is such a character, it's quel superb. Up next, Shakespeare in Love (yes, I've decided to give horror movies a rest).

Sunday, June 21, 2009

mr. charming don't come home anymore

What to do, what to do... I'll come to see you more often; something she can't do. That's what I'll do.

I hate summer. Winter, please hurry. Please.

For now, I'll have to try to drown my thoughts in coffee, seeing as sleep will not suffice. How long have I been awake, you ask? Um, I've only been awake for 16 hours on 5 hours of sleep from last night/morning. My window is open, and my neighbours are awake and in their backyard at 6:30AM. Fabulous.

you the best i ever had

Charmaine's 15th Birthday Party: the good and the bad.

Long story short, I had fun; I met a bunch of new and interesting people, and watched scary movies (me + Dead Silence = embarassing). Haha.

It's so ironic; yesterday I thought that this person would hate me, but it turns out, he/she didn't. It was the total opposite. Then .. when I start feeling something for the person again (because I did a few years ago as well), he/she goes and ruins it with someone else. But I don't know if it's entirely his/her fault ..

Saturday, June 20, 2009

whoa-oa, whoa-o-oa, tell me how

Blogging has been slow. So much for jumpstarting my summer with intense progression. It'll probably pick up by next week, so for those of you following my blog (in other words, AVERY. just Avery...), don't you fret, because my summer is going to get a lot more eventful.

This one's for you, Avery. Because I know how much you love Billy Talent.
I love him, too:

Friday, June 19, 2009

b, as in bob

Dear Bob,
I don't know who you are, but you must leave me alone. kthxbye.

be careful what you wish for

I didn't sleep last night.

I'm so ready to crash.
I'm in desperate need of some coffee.
I'm wearing my Uggs .. in my room .. in spring - I'm definitely going insane.
I made more progress with the room cleaning.
I think I killed three birds with one stone. Try that, Chuck Norris.
Birds = Guys. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm really beginning to appreciate technology (ie: computers, crackberries, etc).
Now I'm on a sleep deprived high, which has me all giddy.
I'm gonna go clean my room again while I have all this energy.
The sooner I clean it, the sooner I can paint it yellow. YES. YELLOW.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

saving the world's not enough

I've realized that I'm crying over more movies than ever before. I just finished watching August Rush (2007). It is an intensely amazing story about an orphan who believes that he can find his parents through music. He runs away from his orphanage and does all this crazy stuff in order to stay away. The story switches back and forth, from the little boy to his parents--who coincidentally happen to be musicians. If you haven't watched it, DO IT. I'm definitely going to go out and buy it on DVD.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

i die a little inside, each time i try

Pushing Daisies is cancelled.
My heart is permanently broken.

still you don't regret a single day

download the Across the Universe version of The Beatles' songs.
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I am completely and utterly in love with Martin Luther II's voice. It's so pure, but rough and asdflkj! It's orgasmic. I'm quite upset that he isn't extremely famous. The girl that plays Prudence, T.V. Carpio, has an extremely strong and pure voice as well. I never really appreciated their voices until last night while re-rewatching the movie.

I'm pretty sure my neighbours hate me for blaring the movie & the soundtrack with my window open at 4AM.

"come down" they'll say .. but we'll stay

My insomnia is kicking in, and driving me insane!
Looking back on summer memories from last year, I realize that some things are insanely difficult to let go of, and others are impossible to get back. It seems that each summer is better than the last, but I have no idea how I'm going to make that happen this year. Last year basically topped it off, so I don't know what I'm going to do now. Let's just hope I meet new friends, become closer with the ones I know, and reaquant myself with lost ones.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the humans are dead

love them.
I got to see them at a concert at Massey Hall this year.
ugh, they're even better live.

two and a half options, but i picked you

soo cute

Sunday, June 14, 2009

summer: refresh, rejuvenate, relax

I need to fix my clothing. I need to get rid of the stuff I don't want because, even with a wardrobe, dresser, and closet, there's no space. I need to donate, rework, and tweek most of my clothes, and then get a job so I can buy clothes that I actually like, then buy material to start sewing again.

I need to paint and rearrange my room the way I want it so I can put pictures up on the wall. It's so cluttered at the moment.

I need to try to steer clear of guys this summer! This is going to be the most difficult one, seeing as I'm already boy-confused, and summer just began. My standards are being lifted even higher than they were before. But there's one person in particular who's caught my eye. It seems pretty stupid because I've never even met him in person. He's cute, and he has increadibly similar interests and style.

"I wish I knew you. I wish I could meet you. I wish we were friends."
- Albert Posis. LOL .. that sounded stalker-ish.

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Glen Hansard - Falling Slowly

a kiss is not a contract

After being persuaded into watching the un-missable episode, that I just had to watch "this very moment," I'm currently watching the season 2 finale of Pushing Daisies.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

drown me in lies

summer begins and ends in heartache

Friday, June 12, 2009

new summer, old me

I've really lost touch with myself. This summer's gonna be about catching up with things I miss doing or never had the time to do, when I had school.


· start sewing again
· start writing again
· retrain my voice, because I haven't sang in so long
· start taking photos again
· start sketching again
· start oil pastel-ing again
· start reading again

One of my friends encouraged me to write a song. We'll see how that works out.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

love in disguise; i'm lost in your eyes

the good and the bad

I can't tell whether I had a bad day or a good day. First, I left the house at 3PM, whereas closing ceremonies started at 4PM. I knew I would be late because I live so far away from the school. Then, halfway down the street, I realized that I forgot a tie. Frantic, I ran back to my house and got one. At that point, it was 3:15. I was on the bus, and decided to get on another bus to take a shorter route. Realizing that the bus wouldn't be there for a while, I got on the same bus route that I was on before, just 5 minutes behind the one that I was just on. At this point, I'm assuming it would have been 3:20.

Later, on the train, some Indian man sat beside me (on my right) and started nudging me, spreading his legs, and generally: making me feel awkwardly uncomfortable. He crossed his arms and continued to nudge me. He then put his right arm, under his left, and proceeded to reach and touch where my shirt met my kilt. I immediately sprung up, violently pushed past him to leave the corner that I had been sexually harassed in, and sat in another seat. I didn't scream or make a fit, because that would not generally be something I would do in public. I didn't look back from there, and I didn't report him to anyone anyways. It would do no good, and would be impossible to find him. All I knew was that he was wearing an orange polo with white (and possibly black) stripes on his shirt, and was wearing black jean pants. Maybe I should report him .. But anyways, I felt increadibly uncomfortable all the way to school.

I showed up at closing ceremonies sometime between 4:20 to 4:30PM. I was late: as usual. Anyhow, when I found a seat, two of my friends were sitting behind me. They told me that I had apparently won an award. Since I wasn't there, I have no clue what the award was for. I also heard that I might have even recieved two awards, but nobody really remembered anyways. But yay! I won an award! Possibly even two awards! They were either for: French, communication technology, or art. I really wanted one this year, and it happened. That totally made my year. I can finally chill, and try not to be a stressed out psycho bitch. I'll find out when the award comes in the mail with my report card (and possibly honour roll certificate). Hopefully I get on the honour role as well. If I do, my life as a freshman will be utterly complete.

About the prize that I mentioned in an earlier post from creating another poster: This line of cosmetics is called Balmshell (you can click it). It was created and founded by two twin sisters, Jennifer and Fiona Lees, that graduated from my school. (A bunch of talented, successful people went to my school, which makes me anxious to see how I'll be doing in the future.) Their lipgloss is really cute. It's not sticky and it's really light. I have 5 of the 10 existing colours. The big one is called "Shopaholic". When you buy the actually big ones, they come with little moving stories on the bottom. After you're done with the lipgloss, you can actually unscrew the bottom and attach it to a keychain that they give you in the package. Then, I think the rest are, (in order from left to right,) "Ah, The Classic," "Darling You Look Fabulous," and "Weekend in the Hamptons." The shade "Darling You Look Fabulous" wasn't part of my prize for creating the poster. It was actually given out today, because Fiona and Jennifer spoke at closing ceremonies today. There was another prize that I won, that isn't in the picture, and that was a lip & cheek stain. Overall, their line is really cute.

Well there you have it. That's my day at a glance.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

twelve year olds are making a comeback

It seems twelve year olds around the world are making a comeback. I never thought I'd say it, but I look up to these kids. You can click their names for more info.

Samantha Boscarino
She's one of those rare people that are extraordinarily stunning. I think she's Ecuadorian and Italian. Mixed babies always turn out better looking, don't they? Samantha's part of a group called My Allowance, in where, I'm pretty sure she's the lead singer. She acts, and she has cute, but mature style for her age. This picture isn't a great example of that because she's dressed as Alicia Rivera for the movie, The Clique, which is a series that I'm sure tons of teenaged girls love.

Shaheen Jafargholi
Although his name is often mispronounced, his voice is unmistakably breathtaking. He lives with his single mother, Karen, and his cat in Swansea, UK. He's up against Susan Boyle, but I prefer Shaheen. He's unbelievably mature; you can tell just by hearing him talk. Still, his voice is even more mature. Shaheen's cute little dimples are so .. asdfglkj. No way can judges say no to him. He can make even Simon Cowell smile. Click his name and take a listen.

that's just great

I fell asleep at like 2:30ish, and I napped for a really long time. I woke up at about 9:30ish and I just drank coffee. I'm going to be up all night with nobody to talk to.

Closing ceremonies are tomorrow! Yaay! I never mentioned, but I created the poster for the event, and it got chosen to go up around the school. Since it was a competition, I won a prize and everything. It was my second poster to win a competition at my school this year. The first one was to advertise an art show. That's pretty stealth, I must say. I'm kind of hoping I'll win an award this year for one of my subjects. Last year, this one girl in my grade won like five awards. That's a lot, considering that ONE person in the grade gets chosen for each subject. I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself though. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on the honour roll for the third year in a row, though. Woo! Fingers crossed for me again, k? I'll probably update again tomorrow when I get home. Wow, I do a lot of blogging per day ..

hey, cute stuff

The second picture was of two rainbows which conveniently appeared after a violent storm last week. I took a picture with my crackberry.

hablo espanol tambien

10:30AM - 10:35AM

Acabo de completar mi examen de espanol. Veinte minutos tamprarlo. Agh! For those of you Spanish virgins, that means: "I just finished my Spanish exam. Twenty minutes early." But yeah, I'm witting here again. The supervisor just announced that there are five remaining minutes. I can barely stay awake. And btw, I'm officially in love with coffee and blogging. Me = needs a life, and maybe more sleep. No. Scratch that. Not maybe. Definitely. I definitely need more sleep. Atleast now I can, because I'm on summer vaca. Well, there's like a minute left, so I'm done writing. My hand is cramping.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

french punk

I wish I was a French punk. Well, I speak French, and I must say: I look pretty good in punk clothes (take in the leather jacket ♥). That's a start, right?

Sorry if the pictures aren't the best. They were taken on my crackberry.

more fun in england

I'm almost positive they have more fun in England. Better clothes, better accents, better currency, better landscapes, better everything. When I get older, I'm either going to move to England, study in England, or have a vacation house in England. It's official: I love England.


So I finally got my blog to look decent. LOLOL. I'm still working on getting to know this form of HTML.
· · ·
I had my English exam on Shakespeare's Macbeth. It actually went better than I thought. I didn't work on memorizing quotes, but I managed to congure up four quotes off of memory. I'd say that's pretty impressively good. Now I just have to study for my last exam, which is tomorrow. SPANISH: the second most dreaded exam, after math. Then again, the math test was easy-peasy. Let's see how Spanish goes. I can't wait to get my exam marks back on Monday. WOW, I'm such a nerd.

Monday, June 08, 2009

exam boredom: math ♡

9:55AM - 10:05AM

(originally handwritten, but I felt like writing it here)

So I'm sitting in the examination room, aka the gymnasium. I'm super bored because I finished my math exam early .. like, 45 minutes early. That's surprizing, seeing as my middle school math average of a 98 plumetted to a mere 68 in highschool. The fact that I switched from basic/core math to extended may have been another facter, besides the leap into highschool, as to why I'm nearly failing. The core and extended classes had the same exam this year, which probably explains why I found it so easy. If I get an 80 on this, the 30% will raise my mark to a 72. Fingers crossed for me, k? My guidance councellor took the liberty of switching me into core next year. Thanks: because I didn't ask you to. Now I'm sitting here, typing sentences into my graphing calculator. Atleast with these things, we can type more than 55378008, and not have to flip the screen upside-down. God bless technology. Bleh, 30 minutes left. Woop, woop. I'm not kidding; I just looked around and basically half of the grade is finished. Ugh. Whatevs. Running out of space! xx ♡

stupid people do stupid things

I just got back from my third-cousin's birthday party. Haha, I met some interesting people. One was pretty cute .. a little awkward, but cute. I like awkward-cute. :)

· · ·

The title says it all. Stupid people do stupid things. But if someone smart does something stupid, don't stupid actions qualify them as stupid?

I know a few real life examples of this. Here's one case:
C******** M****** was a girl that my brother went to school with. She was extremely smart; she did above average in all her classes and was a fairly pretty girl. I thought of her as a good role model, regardless if she was my role model, or not. A few years later, after I'd moved schools and houses, she was in highschool .. and she was pregnant.

Now I'm hearing that ANOTHER one of my friends might be pregnant. I'm taking the initiative of buying a pregnancy test with her this weekend to check .. I really hope this doesn't end badly. I love that girl & I'll be there for her regardless.♥

I like to think of myself as a fairly to above average student. But do marks really classify is someone is smart? Let's hope I don't get into too much shit this summer ..

Speaking of summer, school is basically over for me. I've done my science, history, and french exams: that's 3 out of 6. I have my next 3 this week, with my math exam later on today (because it's already 12AM).

Here's my schedule for my almost-summer so far:
Monday, June 08, 2009: math exam
Tuesday, June 09, 2009: english exam
Wednesday, June 10, 2009: spanish exam
Thursday, June 11, 2009: school closing ceremonies & awards
Friday, June 12, 2009: friend's pregnancy test
Monday, June 15, 2009: exam results review day


Saturday, June 06, 2009

under construction

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention:
This layout is completely under construction .. until I know how to get the contents of my blog into a neat little box-type thing. So unless I teach myself how to (which is highly unprobable), or get someone to do it or teach me how to do it, you'll have to look at this getup for a long while.

what happened

What happened to the kind of guys that love to:
· lay in bed with you for hours, without any sexual intentions;
· stay on the phone with you for hours, without having the silence broken with a sexual or awkward comment;
· bring you home to meet their mums, not to hook up with you;
· tell you that you look "beautiful", and actually meant it;
· understand you, and ask questions when they doesn't;
· tell you that they love you, only when they truly mean it;
· not feel pressured into kissing you, because you and him both know that it's not time;
· or call you to see how you are, or just to simply hear your voice?

I know that nobody's perfect, but blokes are drifting further and further away from perfection than they used to be.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

idk about you

Ugh, I'm honestly interested in you .. believe me, I am. I might seem stupid for wanting you, but I do. I honestly, truly, actually do. I don't know if you're just looking for some chick to use as arm candy, or if you think that I'm doing that to you, or if you're actually down for me. We'll see ..

Monday, June 01, 2009


I have my first exam of six, this year, tomorrow, so I decided that I should treat myself by watching Pushing Daisies, the original Romeo and Juliet, and Across the Universe.

People whom I have aquired a burning, firey, passionate love for:
(you can click them for more info)
Olivia Hussey
the gorgeous and amazing actress who set the bar for all Juliets
Lee Pace
the man of my heart who makes me crave pies
Evan Rachel Wood
the gorgeous and amazing actress and singer who stars in two of my favourite movies (Across the Universe & The Upside of Anger)
Jim Sturgess
the sexy British male who has the voice of a god, and a face to match
Joe Anderson
the man who surprised me with his voice and effortless appeal

What truly amazes me is that my dad knew all the lyrics to The Beatles songs, and proceeded to sing along, creating a perfectly pitched harmony in his head. I'm not kidding: he does it when we sing 'Happy Birthday' too.

he says, she says

twitter me this